Feels So Right
by nerdywordgirl
Summary: Kelly Severide faces many struggles in this one, including the 3rd anniversary of Shay's death & loneliness. He's gone through a string of women, passing time rather than falling in love. Has he finally met his match in a girl who seems so wrong? How could something so wrong feel so right? This one is KELLY-CENTRIC. Ch 9 is up!
1. Chapter 1

This wild idea came to me, and it wouldn't go away. It's Kelly-centric and a strange pairing, but I hope you give it a try and don't completely hate it.

* * *

I am back, baby. Back where I belong, Kelly Severide thought as he jumped from squad's truck to survey the warehouse engulfed in a familiar orange, flame of a mess. The lieutenant barked out orders, first to Capp and Tony, "Get in there and make sure we ain't dealing with any squatters." Then to Cruz, "C'mon, we'll hit it from the back."

Severide couldn't help but smile as he swept around the building with Joe. Casey saw that grin, exchanging a look with Chief, as he got his men ready with hoses to drown the blaze. The fire would put up its usual fight but it was as if it knew things were back the way they were supposed to be and finally gave up with a fizzle of water meeting flame. Steam rising as if in a final protest before dying for good.

Kelly leaned against the back of his truck, downing a Brett offered bottle of water, feeling like he'd just come out on the winning end of a battle. In a way he had. His job had been yanked out from under him, shaking his sense of self. His purpose had been stolen but he'd grabbed it back and had no intention of letting go. Severide couldn't help but feel every time he got his head above water something was there to pull him down. Sure, life was full of ups and downs, but it seemed the downs were piling up on top of each other.

Shay's death had almost pulled him under for good. Kelly survived only to find himself under attack in his house - 51. He'd felt like giving up more times than he could count, but something in him made him fight back. He was feeling one of those upswings, those little moments of light in life. As he sucked down a second bottle, this time offered by Chili, the fireman smiled, not at the paramedic per se but more a smile of contentment. Chili smiled back, "Glad to have you back, lieutenant." She gave him a quick pat on the arm and was off. Kelly's mind trouble for a split second - something about the look in the paramedic's eyes. He brushed it off and got back to reveling in his current glory.

He was back and everyone knew it.

* * *

The slaps on the back came so fast and furious, Kelly was sure he'd be displaying a bruise tomorrow. A happy bruise that he would wear with pride.

"Good to have my lieutenant back," Cruz said, slapping a hand on Severide.

Tony nodded and Capp yelled out a "hell yeah" as he headed to the showers.

Casey and Boden were the last to approach Kelly with a formality he wasn't used to.

"Glad I have my lieutenant back," chief said extending one hand while slapping the other against his fireman's back. He had never doubted Severide's ability to lead and certainly didn't think things would sink so low with his lieutenant at risk of never getting his bugle back. His own fight for his job putting a wrench in the fight for Kelly's.

"Glad I have my chief back," Kelly said, broad grin and sparkling blue eyes giving the fireman a lightness he hadn't had in months.

"Bout damn time for both of you," said Casey a smile spreading to the corners of his eyes, both hands on the backs of the men. There had been more than one time when he thought Kelly would say screw it and take his talent to another house. He was thankful his friend had stuck it out.

"No shit," Kelly muttered, earning laughs all around.

Chief headed to the kitchen thinking "no shit" for sure. He also thought about how happy he was to be back at 51. things were definitely pointing in the right direction - his house in order and his home in order.

* * *

"Just tell me what is going on with you!"

Kelly could hear the hushed tones of someone pleading with another coming from the locker area. He'd been back as lieutenant for a couple of weeks, and it was like he'd never been demoted. Patterson was a bad dream that would eventually fade to nothingness. Chief was back and tougher than ever. Everything was perfect.

Now, Kelly just wanted a damn shower, he thought weighing his options, turn around or barge on in. He stopped, hesitating a moment, seeing who owned those voices.

"Nothing! Can't you lay off? Let's just enjoy each other. No strings." It was definitely the new paramedic's voice, the one with the ridiculous nickname. Chili. What the hell kinda name was that, Kelly thought. Chili was something you put on Fritos, not call a 20-something girl.

"Let's enjoy each other, like right now, in this shower," Chili was the one pleading now. Kelly heard the spray of the shower come on.

Ah, hell no! Those two high schoolers were not getting it on for who knows how long, denying his need of a steaming, hot shower.

Barging in won out.

"L- lieutenant," Jimmy blurted out picking his pants back up, making a quick grab for his soaking wet shirt. "S-sorry," he stammered, moving in front of Chili who was struggling to get her shirt back over her head.

"Sorry, sir," she said stepping in front of the candidate. "All my fault," she added flashing a smile she thought would work some kind of magic. It didn't.

"No doubt," Kelly said giving one of his death stares that Otis knew so well. He crossed his arms feeling like the dad in the situation. He wasn't sure why they weren't scrambling out of there. It was like two deer staring into some Severide headlights.

Jimmy stepped in front of Chili, "This will never happen again," he managed to stutter out. "Would appreciate it if, if, you didn't men…"

"Not one to kiss and tell," Kelly said winking with a smile plastered across his face. The smile fell to another death stare, "And yes, this will NEVER happen again. Keep it in your pants at work."

The scared shitless look on Jimmy's face said he wasn't likely to fall under a cute young thing's spell in the house again. But as Jimmy made his way to the front, Chili caught Kelly's eye again.

She looked as if she was holding back a - what? A damn laugh? She thinks this is funny, thought Severide as he reached for a towel before stripping off his clothes. Yep. That little vixen likes the fact they got caught. Kelly chuckled as he walked to the shower feeling sorry for the candidate. That boy's got his hands full, maybe too full.

* * *

Jimmy avoided all Kelly Severide eye contact to such a point that Casey and chief thought there'd been some kind of altercation. They questioned the lieutenant who insisted all was great with the young gun and he was probably just intimidated by his bad assedness. The groans could be heard by everyone in the house.

"No, seriously, nothing. If he's got a beef with me, it's on him," Kelly stated saying the conversation was over. He was keeping his word about not mentioning the teens in heat moment he caught in the shower.

The candidate wanted to keep his good standing with Casey and promised himself he wouldn't mess up with Chili again. He was not risking confirming his brother's suspicions that he was a fuck up and not worthy of being a firefighter. Anyways, he was more worried about the state of Chili's mind right now and not her body. Something was up with his girlfriend, if she was even that, and she wasn't talking. He'd keep his head down with Severide and his pants on around Chili. Seemed easy enough.

* * *

"So, you kept your word," Chili whispered in the kitchen as Kelly got seconds of some hell-fire good stew thing Dawson whipped up. The paramedic would've bet a thousand bucks that the lieutenant was going to run and tattle to chief about her little rendezvous. But the more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that Severide had christened the shower area before, along with the equipment room, along with his office, and maybe even an ambo. She'd heard the rumors of a whoring around Kelly and one look at the guy said they were all more fact than fiction. Still, she was shocked he'd kept his trap shut.

"Said I didn't kiss and tell," he said, not making eye contact with the girl. Why exactly are you talking to me, he thought. They hadn't strung together more than two sentences since she joined 51. Kelly knew he was doing the "don't get too close" to anyone dance that Shay's death had taught him so well. Brett was considered a friend, but not until a few months had passed and her sunny disposition had gotten the best of him. This one though. He didn't want any part of her hippy, dippy free-spirited self. Herrmann and her were usually thick as thieves, plotting some get rich scheme that everyone knew would not end well.

Why are you talking to me, his eyes said as they finally met hers.

She looked down quickly, shutting her mouth and scuttling off to sit next to Sylvie.

What the hell, Kelly thought. Her eyes. No, some mistake, he tried to convince himself. Imagined it again. I did not see what I think I saw. Those pupils.

He plopped his plate down, shoveling in bite after bite, ignoring the conversations going on around him. The pupils. He'd seen those pupils before. In the mirror staring back at him.

"You've got pinpoint pupils," the haunting sound of Dawson's voice was filling his ears over and over.

Stay out of it, he told himself as he scraped the last of lunch on his fork for a final bite.

The argument made sense now. Jimmy pleading with the girl to "tell me what's going on." The way Sylvie was staring at her co-worker as if sizing the woman up for some deadly disease. He'd seen Brett in the laundry room talking in hushed tones to Chili, an urgency in her voice. All things Kelly hadn't paid any mind to, but all things that rang a certain warning bell in his brain now.

He was back to those pinpoint pupils. None of your business, his brain screamed. Brett and Jimmy would help the girl and get her back on track. They knew something was up and it they were any kind of friends at all they would do something about it.

One problem - Kelly was pretty sure the only experience with drugs or addiction the two had was maybe one time Sylvie had taken one too many Ibuprofen. Gasp.

Jimmy perhaps had got so drunk he had to puke, maybe even more than once. Gulp.

No, those two Scouts wouldn't know what to do with what he was pretty sure was going on with Chili.

Fuck it, he whispered as he rose from his seat and headed to the girl with the pinpoint pupils.

* * *

Thoughts? Hope you don't hate it.


	2. Chapter 2

Not much of a response, but the story is done, so I'll unload it pretty quickly. To those reading, thanks!

* * *

"My office," Kelly commanded, leaving all in the vicinity wondering who the hell he was talking to.

Chili knew. She took a deep inhale before pushing herself up from the table to follow the lieutenant. A confused sea of eyes followed her. Jimmy got up figuring whatever hell she was about to take was partially his fault. As if she knew he'd follow, Chili turned around wagging a finger at the pup to sit down.

"Lieutenant, before you say it, we have been really good. I mean really, really good. No PDA, nothing," Chili started before Kelly's butt hit his chair.

"Shut up," he said, taking a deep breath. Where to start, where to start. What would have worked with him? Nothing. Well, almost nothing, except Shay. The wrath of a pissed off Shay so worried about her best friend was the thing that sent him skidding onto a path free of drugs, free of those pain killers he loved so much. That was the only thing that sent him to a surgeon instead of a grave. Did Chili have a Shay? He sure as hell wasn't it, but he felt compelled to help this girl.

If she didn't take it, he could at least sleep with a clear conscience knowing he hadn't sat on his hands doing nothing. Hell, it was like Shay was guiding him now, an invisible Leslie hand pushing him forward to help Chili.

"I know you're on something," he began, nothing like getting right to it. Chili cleared her throat beginning to protest. "Shut up," Kelly repeated, raising a hand to silence the paramedic who was now sitting on his bed, eyes down staring at his shoes.

"I know because I've been right where you are."

Chili's eyes lifted, looking at the clear blue ones facing her.

"About three years ago I broke my neck, couldn't deal, and turned to pain killers." Sounded so simple, he thought, knowing it was just the opposite. How his ordeal could be relayed in one sentence seemed to belittle it, but he wanted to get in and out quick.

"Whatever's going on with you, I've been there." He grabbed his wallet shuffling through an assortment of cards, finding just the right one. "Here," he said flicking it on the bed next to Chili. It was for a place called The Hope Center - a mix of church, rehab, meetings, and people just wanting to help. Dawson found the place and with Shay's insistence, Kelly found himself taking in a meeting or two. He felt like he had his own Hope Center in a blonde paramedic, but he went to pacify her.

"I know we don't know each other from Adam, but I've seen that look in your eyes. I know what you're feeling. This place," Kelly said to the silent room, "it can help you get right."

Chili shook her head yes, wondering why tears were spilling down her face, a torrent of fucking tears. Go away, she thought. I don't even know this asshole, she thought, pissed. Pissed at herself, pissed at the situation she'd gotten herself into, and pissed at the asshole throwing a card at her.

Tears. Really? I cannot handle girl tears, Kelly thought finding himself weighing his options again - get up out of my chair and give the girl a shoulder to cry on or sit there watching her, maybe pop some popcorn.

Severide got up sighing and sat right next to Chili. He sort of plopped an awkward arm around the girl waiting for a push off or slap. Instead he got a mop of curly hair pressing into his chest, those curls tickling his nose. The front of his shirt was soaked in a minute and he heard himself say, 'I'll go with you to your first meeting if you want."

* * *

Jessica Chilton had faced much in her twenty four years, a sister who bumped up against the line separating law abiding citizen with near criminal, a disappearing dad who was more gone than there, and a mom concerned with her own selfish needs than raising two "spirited" girls.

Jessica became Chili at just 10, her sister giving her the nickname when the fiery little girl stood up for her big sister. She yelled out to everyone in earshot that she was about to "kick some asses" if the neighborhood mean girls didn't leave her "sissy" alone. From that day on, Jessica was gone replaced with the spunky Chili, and she had to admit that she loved nickname.

Now, Chili was facing one more thing, another thing in a long line of things.

I have a problem. Chili said the words to herself for the first time when Lieutenant Severide called her on it. Admitting her problem was an actual addiction took a few minutes longer. She'd Googled everything there was to find about Adderall, her "little happy pill" that she thought of as a friend who never disappointed. She first laid her hands on the prescription telling her doctor she was having trouble concentrating at her new job. He'd jumped the gun with an instant diagnosis of ADHD, prescribing the medication for the high energy paramedic.

The Adderall took the edge off, made the world a touch brighter. The doc seemed more than happy to keep the "little happy pills" coming since ADHD was an ongoing condition. If this makes me feel good, I wonder what a stronger dose would do? She soon found out when she convinced her doctor that she was having more problems on the job. He talked about it taking a while "to get the dosage right" and upped the milligrams.

How in the hell did I get myself into this? I'm adding drug addict to my resume now? Chili had been denying any problem at all to Jimmy and Brett who both knew something was up. They just hadn't figured out that the thing that was "up" was a higher than a kite paramedic. It took that arrogant beast of a lieutenant, she thought wryly. What an asshole. He doesn't say squat to me for months and then like a tornado he's got me crying in his office, snotting up his perfect shirt, and now off to weekly meetings talking about my feelings. Fucking great.

Four months later, Chili didn't feel like she would slip on a banana peel daily. She hoped she was done with Adderall, enjoying life and really enjoying her sometimes boyfriend, Jimmy. Her bond with Sylvie had only strengthened. Amazing how not being high can do that.

She'd thanked Severide for going with her to her first meeting, making all the introductions a little smoother. She thought it was funny the way everyone knew him, but he never spoke during the sharing of sad sack addiction stories. She figured the asshole never shared his story. She said a few words deciding the first meeting was not the time to bear her whole, entire ass. After it was over, she thanked the asshole again, gave him a super strained hug, and said goodbye.

Back at 51 everything was back the way it should be. Kelly Severide acted like he barely knew her and didn't share more than a few words with the girl a week. Everything was perfect.

* * *

Severide knew when he'd overstayed a welcome. And this was definitely a case of needing to get out.

He wasn't looking forward to living alone. It had been, what? Years. Casey took him in when he needed him most and before that … it was life with Shay. All that was gone now. Being alone didn't sound appealing, but he'd grieved enough. Everyone seemed to think so. Yes, it was time to get his own place.

Gabby was at the apartment more than he was, after all. He was a third wheel. Time to roll out and start living like the single bachelor he was. This was going to be good. No, great, he insisted to himself, not believing a word of it.

When he told his friends, his announcement was met with just the right amount of protest. Enough to make him feel like he could stay if he wanted, but the door would not be hitting him on the way out.

He called Shay's realtor friend, Krista, and the search for a new Sev bachelor pad was on.

He should have been excited, but all Kelly felt was a hole the size of Chicago. A hole in his heart, in his life, an empty space so wide he honestly didn't think it could ever be filled.

When Krista found the perfect place, Kelly knew this thing was really happening. He toured the spread loving the view, the handscraped hardwoods, the molding, the immensity of the place. He couldn't help but think of how much Shay would've loved it. He swore he could hear a Shay squeal in the background when he opened the door to the master bath. He felt that old familiar Leslie pull whispering in his ear that yes, this was it. This was his new home.

The one sticking point - the price. Damn, how in the hell was he gonna swing it?

Roommate! He'd get one of the guys at work to go in with him. Maybe the candidate. He seemed like a nice enough kid, and the best part - he was quiet. Yeah, he'd ask him tomorrow and make sure he didn't own any bongos.


	3. Chapter 3

Severide searched for the candidate, figuring he'd hit him up first with the offer. But Jimmy was nowhere to be found.

"Think he's back with Chief," Casey suggested.

Ah well, it can wait, thought Kelly. The kid's gonna flip.

* * *

At 51 things were back to normal. Chief was acting like none of the Riddle mess had occurred, that the rape accusation hadn't happened. He was trying to keep things business as usual. The accusations had truly hit Boden where it hurt the most - his family. To see Donna suffering through the worst of it had torn him up and spit him out. He was trying to piece himself back together. Get his family back to where it needed to be. He couldn't believe it, but Donna had been his rock. Hell, who would have thought he'd need a rock? Well, she was it, and he would never forget it. Never let go of the appreciation and love he felt for that woman.

Currently, he was trying to right his ship with a toughness his house hadn't seen in a few years. Things had slipped through the cracks at 51, and now it was up to him to seal those cracks.

"Who are you?" Boden asked Jimmy Borelli as the young candidate sat in one of the chairs positioned in front of chief. Jimmy knew he'd been summoned to the principal's office but had no idea why. He was busting his ass, listening to every command from his lieutenant, doing everything as fast as any of the other guys.

"Pardon me, chief?" Jimmy asked, confusion written all over his furrowed brows. He knows who I am. He okayed the damn paperwork to accept me as a candidate.

"Who ARE YOU?" Boden repeated, losing what little patience he had.

"Jimmy Borelli, sir," the young man answered, figuring he got it right this time.

"Wrong!" Boden boomed, his voice reverberating throughout the office almost rattling the glass in his door. "You are a candidate! Not Borelli! Not Jimmy! Just a candidate! The lowest form of life here at 51!"

Boden went on to explain the intricacies of the lowly position, the importance of eating, sleeping, and breathing that position. The need to forgo any other ventures so that a candidate could solely focus on one goal - become a DAMN FIREFIGHTER!

Chief went into a long discussion on how even Severide didn't look in a woman's direction his whole candidacy. "He was a monk! You hear me? A monk!" Boden shouted.

He'd seen Chili drag her ass in late the day before, seen the flirty glances the two young ones shared. If he'd seen what Severide witnessed months back there would be no Borelli.

"This ain't a damn high school, and I'm not a guidance counselor! There will be no dating for you, Candidate! None! Am I clear?!" Chief yelled pointing at the door for Jimmy to leave, not wanting an answer, not wanting to see the young man for one second longer than need be. Boden longed for the good old days that weren't actually that long ago. The days when he didn't have to remind a candidate to keep it in his pants. The days when a firefighter needed firefighting, and that was it.

When Borelli had 20 years in, he could think about putting a family first. A baby boy so precious and beautiful, he was what you spent almost every waking moment thinking about. A wife so gorgeous she could warm the center of your soul even 25 miles away.

Yes, this toddler of a firefighter could think about all that once he'd put in the time. Right now, he was just wasting chief's time, and that was coming to a stop.

* * *

Chili cornered Jimmy in the locker area, her hands running down his chest, a low giggle rising in her throat. She went to kiss him, but the man pulled away.

"Down girl," the candidate said playfully, regretfully. The questioning look in her eyes made this all the harder. "We gotta keep it cool. Boden knows the score and that reaming you heard was my ass. He said no dating, no thinking of anything but being a firefighter." The worry over this girl had ended months ago. He wasn't sure what happened, but he knew Chili was back. He also suspected squad's lieutenant had something to do with it. He hadn't pressed the issue - they definitely weren't there in the relationship or dating or whatever they had going on.

"And you're going to listen to that old fuddy duddy?" Chili pouted, letting her fingers go lower. She knew he was putty in her hands, and she liked it. But this time he was sticking to his guns. They'd been SO good for SO long, no horseplay in the house, not even a kiss on the cheek. Chili was sick of it.

"No, seriously, we gotta lay low for a while," Jimmy insisted, pushing her hands away harder. He didn't want to. Every part of him wanted more. Some parts more than others.

But firefighting was in his lineage, and he didn't want to screw that up with screwing. No, he would take a helluva lotta cold showers to make sure that didn't happen. The past six months had been a little piece of Chili heaven, but he didn't want to mess up his gig at 51 - he'd worked too hard. No, he was standing strong. Once the candidate label was peeled off, they could make a go of it as a real couple, maybe a serious couple.

"Okay," Chili said taking offense, letting her hands fall to her side.

"Hey, don't be like that. It's not what I want, but I got no choice," Jimmy tried to smooth things over.

"Have fun with that," Chili said coldly. She didn't want anything too serious, but she did want something. Borelli was young, fun, and good looking. She would miss all that goodness rolled into a nice Candidate package that she called boyfriend.

Ah, she thought. I give it three days. Three days and he'll be at my doorstep begging for some attention. She gave him a peck on the cheek to show no hard feelings, plastered a smile on her face, and bounded into the common room.

Three days.

* * *

Three days later and it was Kelly Severide who came in with a proposal. Not really to Chili but it was a proposition nonetheless. He'd been shot down by the candidate so he was opening the offer up to the floor.

"I've got a sweet deal for someone," squad's lieutenant blurted out as the guys ate a Dawson prepared lunch. "Got myself a new place," he continued, eyebrows raised, mischievous grin spreading across his face.

"Really?" Gabby asked, looking at Casey with a grin of her own.

"Yes, really," Kelly answered, plopping down next to Otis and Cruz. "So, who wants in?" He looked around the table expectantly. Now, don't everyone jump at once, he thought.

Otis thought hell to the no. Life with Sev was not anything he wanted to re-live. True, it had been a different dynamic with Shay, but a solo Severide was something he didn't want to deal with on a daily basis. The possibility of lady leftovers didn't sweeten the deal any if he'd have to face those death stares.

Cruz, too, was going to have to pass. Living with your lieutenant could be a sticky business and Joe knew Severide had more mood swings than his Aunt Carmen, and that woman was one spicy old lady.

Tony, the old married guy of the group, was the only one truly interested, but he figured his wife would have something to say about it, not to mention his two kids.

"Okay. So that's how it is," said Kelly. "Some people are gonna be madder than hell when they see how sweet this place is," he tempted. He jumped up heading to the common area. Hell, he'd settle for Mouch right now.

The redhead said he was trying a "domesticated arrangement" with Trudy whatever that meant and would have to pass.

"Jimmy, Jimmy," Kelly said brightly, draping an arm around the candidate who didn't think the lieutenant knew his name. "You sure you don't want in?"

After Borelli mumbled something about it being out of his price range, Kelly was left with the sad feeling of having to say goodbye to something so beautiful he could still picture those gleaming floors. It wouldn't be the first time he said so long to a true beauty, but it still hurt.

As he was just about to call Krista to break up with the bachelor pad, Chili spoke up.

"I'm game," she said, shrugging her shoulders at the questioning glances of Brett and Jimmy.

"For what?" Severide asked, looking at his phone for Krista's number.

"For going in on the place. Leaky faucet, toilet won't quit running, damn super doesn't lift a finger," Chili explained her current situation.

"First I've heard of any of this," Jimmy mumbled. "Coulda fixed some of that."

"We're taking a break, remember," she said, turning back to Severide. "So whaddya think? I'm a good roomie, really. Quiet, you won't even know I'm there."

"Nah. The place is probably out of both our price ranges. Just dreaming." Kelly didn't want this paramedic as a roommate. Quiet? He highly doubted that. He wanted one of the guys, a drinking buddy, not a little girl to babysit.

"I make a good salary as PIC, maybe as much as you," Chili kept trying. The more the fireman said no, the more she wanted the place.

"Doubt that," Kelly answered truthfully. Damn piece of work, saying she made as much as him. He knew Shay didn't come near his salary although he had to admit she wasn't the paramedic in charge.

"Uh, you'd be surprised. We can compare paystubs, roomie," she said smiling to break the tension.

"Don't call me that. I'm calling Krista right now," Kelly retorted stifling back a laugh, still fumbling through his contacts.

"Trial run. If it doesn't work, you can buy some time to find a new roommate."

That does have a certain appeal. Smart girl. Buy some time and win over one of the guys.

"I'll run numbers with you after work and if you can swing it, we'll give it a go," Kelly said dropping his phone to his side. He was tentative for sure and did not like the growing excitement in his gut. Those floors though.

"I can swing it, so yes," Chili squealed, almost hugging the lieutenant, instead turning to Brett at the last second. "We can still talk numbers after work to compare pay. I'll show you mine if you show me yours," she winked at the unsmiling firefighter.

Jesus, is she twelve? This feels wrong, Kelly thought, so wrong. But that damn place feels so right. What the hell, he thought. Fuck it.

* * *

What could go wrong? :) Any thoughts?


	4. Chapter 4

"This is the screwiest, no good idea I ever heard," Herrmann started in on Kelly as soon as the lieutenant was alone in his office.

"Well that was quick," Kelly muttered under his breath. It ain't been two minutes, and the old man's gonna start in already. He knew it would be coming, but he figured he had at least a day. "Well, say it." Severide wanted to get this over with.

"Can't say I'm on board with the Chili and you shacking up together," Christopher said flatly.

"You aren't invited, so we don't have a problem, right?" Kelly asked challenging the firefighter.

"Ha - ha. Very funny wiseguy," Herrmann smiled, treading on thin ice. "I know you, and I know her. This just isn't a good idea."

"What are you saying?" Kelly asked not liking where this was going.

"Don't wanna see Chili hurt." So it was gonna be like that? It was out there for all to see. Kelly had a reputation and Herrmann didn't want his young friend, the girl he'd taken under a wing, hurt by the big, bad fireman.

Kelly took offense and let the comment sink down to where the Severide feelings dwelled. His throat tightened up as the words ate a little at his insides working their way up to his heart.

"So I'm good enough to be your son's godfather but not good enough for Chili?"

This was taking a bad turn and Herrmann figured he better stop the bleeding now. He hadn't meant any offense, but he was never one to shy away from saying it like it was.

"I'm not sayin' that, Kelly. I'm just pointing out that women have a tendency to give in to your, uh, your ways and hearts can be broken," Christopher was bracing himself for a blow out or blow up, neither would be pretty, he was sure of that.

Kelly's voice remained even, a cold calm, "You don't have to worry about that. We're not dating. We will not be dating. Her heart will stay in one piece. I'm using her for her apparently huge PIC salary and that's it. So if that's all, you can get the hell out!" Kelly buried his head in some paperwork seeing a blur of words that made no sense.

He wondered if the Herrmann's ever intended on making him Kenny's godfather at all, if it hadn't been some package deal - they wanted Shay so had to settle on him? He wasn't lying to himself, it hurt. The fact that he wasn't good enough to date a Herrmann friend stung like a bitch.

"Don't be like that now. C'mon, Kelly," Herrmann pleaded. The younger fireman didn't look up, afraid his face would betray the hurt. "You're still comin' to Kenny's birthday party this weekend, right?"

Kelly had to look up on that one. "Yes. Wouldn't miss it for anything."

"Not even because his dad was being an ass?" Herrmann asked, eyebrows pleading for some forgiveness.

"Nah, not even that jackass can keep me away," Kelly said chuckling a little. He glanced at Herrmann as he left, watching as a younger man made his way into his office. Damn, did he say he was taking appointments?

"Sir, do you have a minute?" Jimmy asked nervously.

Kelly threw down his pencil. "What the hell do you want, candidate?" he barked, knowing the answer, having a feeling that Herrmann junior just entered the building. Damn if this wasn't the worst idea he'd ever had, at least according to everyone else. And hell, it wasn't even really his idea.

"Okay, let me have it," he barked again.

* * *

"Hey, Jessica, uh Chili. I don't think it's gonna work out." Kelly had been considering the move in for the past three days and two sleepless nights. He was breaking the whole deal off right now in the ambo that Chili and Brett loved. It wasn't going to work. Everyone said so. Even his gut. As much as he said he just needed half the rent paid, he wanted more. He wanted someone to toss back a few beers with, to cheer on the Blackhawks with, to curse at the Bears with.

This girl and me are nothing more than strangers. Yeah, I helped her out of a tough one, but it wasn't some big bonding experience. It'll be awkward as hell the first time I step out of the bathroom naked forgetting she's there. Kelly smiled remembering his first Shay "run-in." He was so used to rooming with guys, he hadn't thought twice about the state of his naked body leaving their bathroom.

After the initial "Ew, gross!" he was greeted with, his best friend had snorted with laughter, claiming it was at the expression on his face and nothing below his waist. Shay said that was the exact millisecond she knew they were best friends - they could see each other naked.

Oh, how she'd been right. She saw him naked for sure, his body AND his soul. She could see right through any bullshit he tried to pull. He swore she had some Severide bullshit meter and he sure missed that thing these days.

"Why not?" Chili asked dropping the rag she was using on her baby with four wheels, wondering what the hell it was this time. She'd talked Herrmann into believing it wasn't the worst idea known to mankind. She'd even turned young Jimmy into a believer by showing him the sweet place awaiting her. Brett was looking forward to the move like she was going to be Kelly's roommate. "Why not?!" she spat out again.

Kelly tried to explain why they wouldn't be a good mix. He thought the words "oil" and "vinegar" came out of his mouth. Chili had a counter argument for every one he brought up. He had been out-argued, and he couldn't help but feel that old Shay pull telling him to give it up. It was either that or Shay herself reincarnated in the curly haired demon in front of him.

"What the hell. Okay. You can move in this weekend." He said giving in and giving up.

"Really?!" she squealed, jumping up and down. "I'll see ya Saturday, roomie. at Kenny's birthday party. Then it's a moving PARTAY this Sunday."

Partay? You have got to be fucking kidding me. This is going to be one of my biggest mistakes. What was I thinking? What AM I thinking?

* * *

Kenny's birthday came and went with the soon to be roomies barely interacting. Herrmann was playing kiss and make-up with Kelly, even letting the fireman touch his grill. Kenny worked wonders in bonding the two firefighters back together. Their shared love of the little boy put the friendship back in working order, insults and unintended criticisms forgotten.

Sunday arrived and Chili moved in with the muscle of Jimmy and the supervision of Brett. The three went out for pizza leaving Kelly alone in his place, thinking about another paramedic. A big date was right around the corner and he'd not been deaf to the rumblings of Dawson wanting to mark it with a celebration of sorts.

Gabby was working out the plans of commemorating Shay's life on the 3rd anniversary of her death. Dawson wasn't involving Kelly in the planning, somehow knowing he wouldn't be able to do it. The more he heard, the grumpier he became. On this night, alone in his place the realization that it was happening at Molly's set in. Did Shay deserve some big remembrance? Hell yeah. He just didn't want to be there. He also knew he would end up being there.

* * *

The little diner looked so much like the Mills one, everyone was left feeling like Pete might be right around the corner. If Kelly's mood hadn't been surly enough, this call added to the bullish demeanor of the lieutenant.

People were rushing out of the front, emerging from a billowy white cloud that would have been beautiful if not so deadly.

Boden shouted out instructions, the men moving instinctively to where he ordered. Severide and Casey barking out more commands.

The synchronized movements were a thing to be exalted, other houses hoping to emulate 51. Brett and Chili often mesmerized by the precision of it all. No time for admiring a thing on this call. There were people inside, possible victims who would need them. Chili rushed to one of the first out, a teenage boy coughing out what seemed like a lung.

She offered some oxygen, stabilizing the young guy, and moving on to another diner patron. One after another, more shuffling out in worse shape than the previous one.

The teen boy was waving frantically at Chili, trying to get the paramedic back. She waved him off, giving him an "in a minute signal" as she worked on an elderly couple.

She ran over to her first victim, "What's wrong?" she asked seeing the distress in his eyes.

"My little brother. Jeremy. He went to the bathroom. Mom said not to let him outta my sight, but he had to pee." The boy was in tears, coughing and crying at the same time.

"How old is he?" Chili asked, growing concern registering in her eyes.

"Five." the teen replied, voice breaking off. He got up to head back in, but Chili pushed him down firmly. "No, we'll get him."

"Chief, we've got a five-year-old last seen in the bathroom. I've got older brother out here," Chili radioed Boden, precious seconds ticking by.

"Got it! Severide, sweep the bathrooms, now. We've got a missing five-year-old!" Boden called out urgently.

"Capp, head to the north corner with Tony. Cruz, you're with me! You heard chief. Let's find the kid!" Kelly could feel the intense heat on his neck - it was the sure sign that a fire was reaching the point of no return. In a race against time, he knew they had to find this boy before Boden called it. Every crack of the radio sent a chill down the lieutenant's spine. Move your ass, he could feel Shay's words somehow touching his brain. He broke down a door in the back, sending a spray of embers in his face, his mask taking the worst of it. It was a food storage closet.

He motioned for Cruz to follow as he inched along the back wall, smoke and flames, all he could see. He felt for a door knob, finally reaching one as the crack of the radio broke through the sounds of burning.

"You have exactly two minutes! Everyone copy that? TWO!" It was Boden putting a time limit on a little boy rescue.

Kelly tried the door, pulling the knob this way and that. It was locked. He turned around kicking in the door leaving another flurry of embers, the heat almost unbearable. Cruz and Kelly fell to the floor feeling for any tiny feet, tiny arms, something. As Kelly reached the second urinal, he could make out a small, unmoving lump.

"Got him," he yelled out, scooping up the little body, too limp to hold any life. He brushed that thought away and began running toward the back exit. Cruz used his ax to move a falling door frame, praying the whole diner wouldn't be caving in the next second. As flaming debris fell on the two men, they rushed out, exhaled from the burning restaurant in the nick of time.

Casey was waiting to douse any stubborn flames hanging onto his friends, while Chili reached for the small boy whose brother was standing by her side, sobbing uncontrollably.

She went to work, now her turn to bark out orders, Brett following every one.

"Damn," she said not feeling a pulse or the rise and fall of a chest. She began chest compressions while Sylvie readied the defibrillator.

Kelly hovered over the scene, putting an arm around the brother, hating the jerky motions of a young man about to lose it all. "Hey, he's in good hands," Severide said loud enough for the paramedics to hear.

"I've got a pulse!" Chili announced, smiling widely but not slowing down for a second. She packed up the boy and loaded him in the ambo with Kelly grabbing the back end of the gurney. Brett got behind the wheel as the brother hopped in.

He's gonna be okay, Kelly hoped, impressed with the quick actions of the paramedics from his house. For a little girl, that Jessica, uh Chili's, got some pretty impressive moves, he thought gaining a new respect for his roommate. She did like to throw that PIC title around he laughed to himself grabbing a water for the ride back.

* * *

Jeremy was going to be alright. His lungs had been compromised with a serious case of smoke inhalation, but with breathing treatments, he would be getting out in a couple of days. Chili made the announcement with a pride showing itself in her perfect smile.

Kelly gave her a high five as she passed by. It was good news, and he needed it.

The night to celebrate Shay's life was approaching. There was no avoiding it whether he wanted to or not. This was a good thing, Kelly told himself about twelve times a day. It was long overdue.

The first year they were still so raw, just beginning to heal. The second year, they were trying to pretend it never happened. Now, they were doing it in a way that would do Shay proud. They were ready to remember their friend, to talk about their friend, to celebrate the light of the house.

"You are gonna be there, right Kelly?" Dawson asked, worried about her friend's state of mind. She'd cornered him alone in the locker area.

"Of course. Is it wrong I'm not looking forward to it?" he asked sitting on a bench.

Gabby pulled him in for a hug. "It'll be good. Good for you. Good for me."

The feeling of Shay surrounded them both as Kelly nodded his head in agreement.

He wanted to want this. But all he felt was a deep desire to throw up.


	5. Chapter 5

How awesome that Taylor won the People's Choice Award! So deserved! Hope some of you are out there reading. :)

* * *

They'd been ships passing in the night, strictly roommates sharing a living space but not living life together. Something had changed with the diner call, a few more words exchanged, a few more nights of sharing pizza. It wasn't anything dramatic but a shift had occurred.

"You wanna ride together to Molly's tonight?" Chili asked, slipping on an earring. She'd told Jimmy and Brett she was meeting them there sensing her big, tough roomie wasn't feeling larger than life. Chili heard all the Shay stories, the many, many Shay stories and all of them included Kelly. Funny thing was, he never told them. He might need someone, if that guy ever really needed anyone, tonight.

Kelly looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, running a sweaty hand across his hair. The night had come, and he was wishing he was heading anywhere except Molly's. He knew there would be speeches. He would be expected to make one. Not his most comfortable area. The idea of talking about Shay turned his stomach. What they had was not something you talked about. It couldn't be expressed with words. He'd been thinking about the dreaded speech and decided to share a couple of stories about the woman herself. Talk from the heart and keep it short. That would be all he could handle. He was seriously thinking about skipping the entire celebration when Chili walked in saying they should carpool.

"Ready?" she asked timidly, guessing he felt anything but ready. Damn, he'd been so grumpy the past couple of days, practically snapping her head off when she teasingly accused him of eating her yogurt. But now he looked vulnerable, sad, like he needed a hug. No, that would be pushing it. They were sort of friends sharing a meal once in awhile. but not hug it out besties.

"As ready as I'm gonna be," Kelly answered, grabbing his keys.

He opened the car door for Chili and drove off, his mind a million miles away. They entered Molly's late but still in time to catch Gabby talking about her best friend. The crowd was laughing as Gabby recanted a taser incident that was both hilarious and pretty illegal. Kelly smiled as he made his way to where Dawson was standing. This was it.

She passed a beer to the lieutenant as if passing a torch and the fireman took it as his turn to talk about Leslie Shay.

He could feel every set of eyes on him. Keep it simple he thought, emotion already choking him. He looked up from the bottle he'd been staring at to find Dawson's watered over eyes prodding him on. Look away. He scanned the crowd seeing much the same, his eyes landing on Chili's. She had no wetness in the corners, an encouraging smile on her face. She nodded her head slightly mouthing the words, "Go on."

"If you don't mind…" he said holding up the bottle, "I'm going to say a few words about our friend, Leslie Shay." The silence made Kelly's voice sound twice as loud.

"Three years." He shook his head. "Damn, hard to believe." Kelly took a deep breath then a deep gulp from his beer. "Can someone pass me another one, gonna need it." The crowd chuckled uncomfortably.

"Three years ago we lost the best person I've ever known. Shay had a light, a light…" his voice broke and he took another sip. He looked up, past the overhead lights, past the ceiling. "Shay," he continued holding his beer to the heavens, "Losing you sucked the life outta 51. Every day was just so hard. We think of you every damn day. I think of you every day." Kelly took another long gulp knowing he was rambling and not sharing a funny story about his friend the way he'd planned. "But now I feel you breathing life into 51. It's like you're telling us to get off our sorry asses and live," Kelly inhaled loudly, forcing down the tears beginning to push forward. "You made us all better. You made me better, and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life trying to be that person. I feel you. Here with us." Severide pushed his bottle a little higher, "Until we meet again, gorgeous." Severide finished up his beer to a chorus of agreeing words… Miss ya Shay. Love you girl. To Shay. To Shay. The silence lessened and everyone went back to their stories, all stories of a sorely missed friend.

Kelly sat at the bar by himself, no one daring to bother him. Casey finally went up to the empty stool next to him feeling his own sorrow but recognizing something more in his friend's blank face. He too missed Shay every day, but he had Dawson to ease that pain. Love had a way of filling any hole your heart sustained. He knew Kelly didn't have that. He hoped he would someday.

"You okay?"

"Yep."

"Just checkin' on you."

"Three years man."

"I know," Casey said slapping his friend on the back. "I know." He clinked bottles with his buddy before leaving the lieutenant alone with his thoughts again. Kelly promised to be over at Matt's table in a minute.

Severide drank a couple more beers before deciding to fulfil his promise and join Gabby and Matt at Boden's table.

"Great speech, Kelly," Chief said as his lieutenant sat down. "I feel her too." Donna rubbed Wallace's back, resting her head on his shoulder. She was ready to go home. It had been enough sadness for the Boden's for one night. It was time to kiss a sleeping child and let him fill that hole in daddy's heart.

* * *

Chili, Jimmy, and Brett left right after Boden, wanting to pay their respects to the woman they'd never met, but also ready to leave. It was like being the one not understanding the inside joke. They were the three who came after Shay and would never fully comprehend the loss. They understood that much and the trio couldn't wait to get out of there.

"You okay to drive home?" Chili asked her roommate before leaving.

Kelly nodded. He didn't blame them for wanting to go. Hell, they'd never known his best friend.

"You okay in general?" Chili prodded further, trying to get a register on his state of mind. Kelly gave her another nod, this time angling his head to the door, his way of saying get the hell out. Of course his state of mind is shit, she thought. But he's got his friends with him. He'll be fine, she thought letting Jimmy hook his arm in hers as they walked out of the bar. To hell with Boden for one night.

After not wanting to show up at all, Kelly ended up not wanting to leave. He slammed drink after drink in a way Casey hadn't seen since the days right after Shay's death. Gabby and he exchanged looks but let him work his way through the night.

They finally deposited their friend back at his place, taking off his shoes as he sat staring blankly at the TV. He'd rejected letting them put him in bed firmly saying he wanted to watch a little ESPN.

"Gabby, wake up," Matt said softly, rubbing his hand against her cheek.

"Hmmm? What?"

"We're going home," he said gently, waiting for her to rouse a little.

"You two should go home," Kelly said too loudly for the hour it was - 1 AM.

"You alright, bud?" Casey asked for the hundredth time.

"Yeah, I'm gonna catch some z's too," he said going to the kitchen in a drunken search for some water.

Matt handed him a bottle from the fridge before heading out.

"We'll check on you tomorrow," Gabby said kissing Kelly's cheek and rubbing his arm.

Kelly dropped down on the couch staring at the screen with unseeing eyes not hearing the door close behind his two friends. He got up one more time, fumbling with a stack of DVD's trying to focus. He found the one he was looking for and popped it in the player, the first images taking his breath away.

* * *

"Stop. You stop that right now," Chili giggled at her front door enjoying this slightly drunk version of Jimmy. His hands were a little too rough, his speech a little too slurred, but it all combined into a ball of adorable hunkiness.

She kissed him firmly on the lips surprised that his tongue pushed in rather than away this time.

"I got two more months and my candidacy's over. Two months and we can come out."

Chili giggled again. She'd have to tease him about that line tomorrow. But tonight was coming to an end. She kissed him again, turned him around, and pushed him to Brett's waiting car. Thank God Sylvie had the good sense to lay off the booze tonight. She's a doll, a real life angel, thought Chili as she watched a drunk Jimmy make it to the car, struggle with the door handle, and then finally tumble in. She saw Brett reach over and buckle him up before giving her the thumbs up sign with a huge beaming smile. Sylvie ran a hand across Jimmy's cheek as her lips mumbled something, probably words about being home soon. She watched the car drive off and was struck with the thought that those two were from the same mold - Boy Scout Jimmy and Girl Scout Brett. She snorted down a laugh shaking her head. Damn, I'm drunker than I thought.

The sounds of a soft snore hit her as she silently closed the door. She walked to the snoring couch to find a snoring fireman sprawled half on and half off. Chili could smell the fumes of alcohol coming from the mess of a man in a drunken sleep, bottles strewn across the coffee table.

Chili pulled Kelly's legs back on the couch before covering him with a throw. Grabbing the remote, she needed to put the glowing screen to sleep. Before hitting the power button, Chili was caught off guard by the face staring back at her - a beautiful blonde with her head thrown back in some huge laugh. She was frozen in time on the screen, filling it up.

Hesitantly pushing play and mute almost simultaneously, Chili watched the story held in the DVD. She watched as the blonde laughed hysterically talking to the person holding the camera, her mouth moving in the silence of the room. Kelly was suddenly on the screen, the camera snatched from his hands and turned on him. He was uncomfortable at first but finally gave in, laughing and smiling. He is so lost in the laugher his eyes are almost closed. He tries to wrestle the camera from the blonde woman but they end up on the floor, the lens catching glimpses of both of them as they struggle to grab at it. The last shot Chili watches is an extreme close-up of the woman throwing her head back in the throes of laughter, the camera shaking wildly, and she imagines Kelly laughing so hard he can't steady it.

So this was Shay, Chili thought as she finally touched the power button, taken off guard at the tears coming from her eyes, those tears missing at Molly's so many hours before.

* * *

Chili hummed a little louder as she tossed the last ingredients in her egg scramble. She peeked over the couch at the sleeping giant. Time to rouse that giant, she thought. This could be rough.

"Made plenty, if you want some," she called out to the slightly moving couch.

Kelly groggily rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he pushed himself up from the couch, every inch of his body hurting. He mumbled something incoherent as he made his way to the bathroom.

"Okay," she said to the empty room, listening as the sounds of someone losing their lunch came from down the hall. Losing their lunch and dinner and tomorrow's breakfast. Ooooh, he's gonna need this, she thought looking down at her hangover special - an egg scramble that registered 101 degrees on the hot scale.

Kelly stumbled back to the living room reaching for some furniture to steady himself.

"I need some Tylenol or something," he said grappling with the wall to make his way to the kitchen.

"Got it," Chili said handing him two pills and a large glass of water. "Drink it all," she commanded.

Kelly took two sips before spilling half of it on the floor. He slammed it on the counter and stumbled back down the hallway. Chili could hear the heaving of those pills coming up. Flush.

She moved the pan off the burner and ran to bathroom to help him back to the kitchen. Could he look any worse? A pang of feeling sorry for the guy ran through her body as she steadied him upright.

"Sorry," he managed to get out. "Think I'm sick," he added turning back around to the bathroom.

Chili waited outside for him to finish. How much could one throw up, she wondered as she listened to more heaving this time nothing landing in the toilet.

She grabbed his arm again, surprised he took hers so willingly. "This scramble is going to do the trick. You'll be good to go by noon," she said cheerily, her bright smile almost causing another bathroom run.

"Nah, can't eat anything." Kelly could feel his stomach tighten again and was thankful there was nothing left inside. The burning in his head felt like an inferno was raging right through his skull. He needed his bed but couldn't find the words to tell this kid to take him to the bedroom not the couch.

Chili ran a hand across Kelly's forehead. "You feel hot," she muttered to herself. She dropped him on the couch and fetched her little medical case she kept in her closet.

"103?" she said looking at the reading. She hit clear and tried again. "103.2?"

This was no simple hangover. "You are sick," she said running a hand across his forehead again.


	6. Chapter 6

Have a great Friday!

* * *

"Will you not keep your ass in bed? You have the flu. If you want to get back to work anytime soon, you need to rest." Chili hated the way her nagging came out, but it was like talking to a damn brick wall. She was frustrated, Kelly was frustrated. She stood in his bedroom door, both hands on her hips.

"I have to take a piss. That okay with you?" he said, weakly getting up to take the few steps to the bathroom. He hated the way his body ached making him look like an old man. The dirty T-shirt he was wearing didn't make him feel any better, but the second he changed was the second he had to throw up. And he just didn't have the energy to change right now.

Kelly washed his face with cold water, liking the coolness on his hot head. But not liking the way he could barely hold himself up on the counter. He made it back to the bed under the watchful eye of the girl.

The chills had racked his body all night, so hot one minute he thought he might spark up, so cold the next he felt like he was outside on a frozen Chicago night. He hated the feeling of helplessness, the utter feeling of being so sick you didn't care if you lived or died.

"Sorry," he said turning on his side away from her watchful gaze. How can some little bug knock me on my ass like this? I'm frustrated but it sure the hell isn't her fault. Last night was not her fault. She'd done her best to get him through it and he was acting like this? "Sorry!" he called louder, knowing she was probably pissed. The empty silence meeting his apology confirmed she was really pissed.

Yeah, he sounds sorry, Chili thought before turning around to make herself another cup of coffee. She wasn't responding to that half-assed excuse of an apology.

"Hey!" Kelly yelled out. "I'm sorry. Feel like shit and acting shitty to anyone who'll listen. I'm sorry." He rolled back over to face his empty doorway, his glazed eyes mere slits from fever.

Chili walked back in ready to forgive. It was her nature, never hold a grudge, look for the good in people. Her sister said it was her downfall, Brett said it added to her charm. She could see the man sick in bed was speaking the truth. "No, I have zero patience. My sister tells me that daily, and don't tell her I said this, but she's right." She re-wet his washcloth placing it over his burning eyes. "You feel like trying some broth?" She tilted her head slightly, her perfect smile lighting up the dark room.

"No," Kelly replied, wondering how a washcloth could feel so good. "But I will." That smile was too much to keep it a no. He had to say one thing about the paramedic - she was an optimistic little shit. Even throughout her struggle with prescription drugs, she kept her pep. Normally Kelly would be annoyed by all the sunshine, but it was growing on him. That curly mop of hair, that cute smile, porcelain skin, all of it was growing on him.

"Great!" Chili was off to serve up the pot she had on the ready from the morning hours. Her cheery demeanor also grated on sis's last nerve, but she couldn't help it. Why go expecting the bad when the good could be right around the corner? She balanced a bowl of the steaming liquid, a roll, some crackers and a Sprite on a tray as she worked her way around the corner to his bedroom.

Kelly took one look at it all and stifled down a dry heave. "Looks good," he managed, pushing himself up on his headboard. He was cold at the moment, shaking a little under his comforter.

Chili burst out laughing almost dropping everything off the tray. "Your face says otherwise. Just try a couple of bites, okay?"

"Yep." Kelly tried to look like he was game for it all. "Thanks for this. You do not have to play nursemaid to me though. You should go out with your friends or something." He took a sip from the spoon the girl was offering. He knew she'd had plans with the other two Stooges - Brett and what's his name.

"Do you think I'm twelve?" Chili asked, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "I want to be here. We're roomies. We do that sort of thing for each other."

He knew he'd insulted her and figured it probably wouldn't be the last time. He ate three extra bites to try and make up for it. "Good," he said between slurps as if the broth didn't come from a can and was homemade instead.

Chili smiled pleased with herself. She liked to take care of people, had done it all her life. Her mom to a certain extent, her sister for sure, now this flu infested asshole. She decided maybe not total asshole.

Kelly waved off any more. "I'm done." He closed his eyes putting one hand on his head and another on his stomach wishing he hadn't gone for those extra bites. Always taking on more than I can handle, he thought as his stomach started to lurch.

Chili placed the tray on his dresser, sitting back down on the side of the bed. She ran a soft fingertip down the side of his cheek. "You're still so hot," she commented, letting the finger run back up to his forehead.

Kelly cracked open one eye. "I've been told," he teased, his laughter turning into a cough, turning into a quick run to the toilet, the broth deciding to get the hell outta there. Chili followed him in, rubbing Severide's back as he hovered over the toilet, heaving and heaving.

"Yeah, I'll try to resist," Chili joked when she thought the worst was over, her eyes scanning the vomit covered front of his shirt.

Kelly laughed harder, grabbing his stomach that was in knots. Back in bed, Chili was there with a fresh shirt, helping him take off the nasty one and put on a replacement. She laid a wash cloth on his forehead, and he was ready for some rest.

"Thanks for all this. I don't deserve it but thanks," he said to the much too cheerful young paramedic who thrived on compliments like the one he was giving. I bet she's beaming, really beaming, he thought.

Chili was. They were friends. Once you saw someone at the porcelain altar, it was a bond for life.

"You would've done the same," she said touching his cheek again before leaving his room. She believed that with all her heart. He was beginning to think she was right.

* * *

"I owe you, Jessica," Kelly said, drinking some milk and wolfing down another bagel. He'd taken to calling her Jessica while on his sick bed, not accepting the Chili nickname. She actually liked it.

"Nah, that's what friends do." She grabbed a yogurt from the fridge taking in the sight of him. He looked good. Color back. Eating like a horse again. He'd be weak first shift back, probably lost about seven pounds, but he'd power through.

"What?" he asked brushing bagel crumbs off his lips.

"You look good," she said nodding her head. "You're ready to go back."

"Damn flu ain't keeping me out," he said smiling. "And you too." Kelly jogged back toward his bathroom to brush his teeth one more time.

"Me too what?" Chili called down the hallway.

" _You're_ looking good," he teased zipping into his bathroom and shutting the door. He could hear her laughing from the kitchen.

* * *

"Did you have fun taking care of the almighty Kelly Severide?" Jimmy asked the minute he laid eyes on Chili. He was feeling like a major schmuck pushing her off for months because he was afraid of getting his wrist slapped. His candidacy was almost over, and he was ready to finish what he started with her. He liked having her on his arm and calling her his girlfriend. The kiss at her doorstep the night of the Shay thing hadn't faded one bit, not one iota.

"Are you jealous?" she asked knowing the answer was yes. He'd been acting like a dejected four-year-old the minute she said she was staying in because Kelly had the flu. Brett had offered to come over and pitch in but that hadn't felt right.

"You are kidding right?" he scoffed. Jealous of that over-sexed lieutenant who had a strut walking to the bathroom? She had to be kidding.

"Whatever you say, Jimmy," she cooed running a hand down his chiseled arm. "This weekend we'll have fun," she promised with a smirk. It was what she'd agreed to so that he would quit texting every hour. Chili was looking forward to some mindless drinking, maybe a little dancing and a whole bunch of laughing. It would be like the lip action at her door only much more action. She felt certain her roommate had stomached enough of her their days off, "drink this" "take this" "rest some more." She could be a general giving orders if the situation called for it. Kelly was better now and didn't need her.

* * *

"You up for a bar crawl this weekend to celebrate my recovery?" Kelly asked brushing his hands along Chili's arms, grabbing her and moving her out of his way as he cut in front of her for dinner. It had been one call after another, this the first opportunity to make some plans.

"I think you just cut in front of me! Chief!" Chili called out. "Severide is not playing fair!" She laughed as he elbowed her back away from the food. They had the look of a couple of middle schoolers socking each other in the arm for attention.

"Deal with it!" came Boden's booming voice from the darkness of the hallway.

"Oh, shit. Didn't think he could hear me," Chili whispered, giggling as she finally squirmed her way to the food.

"So, you think you can keep up? Figured we'd start on East Adams then see where the L takes us," Kelly's bright blue eyes made Chili forget about Jimmy's brown ones.

"Sounds fun!" she answered, but a second later her smile left her face. "Oh, shit," she said again. "Almost forgot, I made plans with Borelli."

Kelly was stunned. Was she turning him down? "Yeah, sure. Just thought. You know, never mind. I'll take Casey or Capp. No problem." Kelly took his plate and sat right in between Cruz and Otis interrupting their very important argument about Jar Jar Binks being a Sith lord. Chili sat down at the end, no seat nearer the dejected looking lieutenant.

Kelly didn't notice the hard stare from Herrmann who'd seen the whole cutting in line flirtation, the inquisitive glance of Gabby who shared a grin with Matt, or the raised eyebrows of Jimmy looking at Brett who offered up a quick shrug of the shoulders. The only thing he noticed was the plate of food looking suddenly unappetizing and the feeling in his gut. The feeling of disappointment.

Yes, this was going to be a problem.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks jh126 for the reviews! Glad someone is reading. Yes, this one is going THERE. Haha! Can't help where the brain takes me, and I think this little story came from a deep desire to have Severide get an actual big boy relationship that lasts more than three episodes.**

* * *

"HE is avoiding me," Chili complained to Brett down in the laundry room. She was sitting on the washer watching as Sylvie folded her uniform pants and shirts. "After I took care of that asshole's sorry ass for three days straight, cleaning his puke, wiping his face, rubbing his back, helping him shower. HE is NOW ignoring me!"

"Wait, you helped him shower?" Sylvie asked, her blue saucers widening in amazement. She dropped another pair of clean pants on her clean pile, her mind picturing Kelly Severide getting into the shower. That HE her friend was referring to was occupying much of Chili's time and head space.

"Not like _that_ ," Chili replied swatting Brett on the arm, breaking her trance. "Just helped him in and out. He wore a towel. No big deal."

Sylvie thought it was a big deal. Kelly and Chili - something was going on. Brett was wrapping her mind around the possibilities but one thing she did know - there were sparks, and as Mouch was fond of saying, "Where there are sparks, there is fire" forgetting the whole smoke part of the phrase.

"Unappreciative asshole," Brett agreed, finishing up her load.

"No, not an asshole, at least not 100 percent asshole. He can be really sweet." Chili argued, thinking about that Severide face at Shay's remembrance, those tears ready to spill. His cute little sick face ravished with fever, wanting to push help away but taking it in the end. God, he was impossible!

"Not an asshole. Okay," Brett agreed, thoroughly confused at the back and forth.

"So what should I do? Confront him? Ignore him back?"

"Have you thought of just talking to him?" Brett suggested quietly, picking up her basket of clothes.

"You. Are. A. Genius." The curly haired paramedic kissed her friend on the cheek, jumping off the washer, and enthusiastically taking off on a Kelly hunt.

* * *

The hunt was short, finding her roommate in his office hunched over a pile of paperwork. How the man could keep such a clean house and have this mound of work at 51 was a mystery to her. He didn't appear to hear her enter, his eyes not leaving his desk.

"You pissed or something?" she blurted out running a hand across the side of her curly hair as if there was a way to tame it.

Kelly could only laugh at the disheveled girl full of nervous energy standing in his door frame.

"No, not pissed, Jessica."

Damn if he's not using that stately father figure voice with me. The one that said I'm in charge. She hated that voice.

"Well, I'm pissed. Yes, I'M pissed!" she reiterated, now hands on her hips. "It seems like you're ignoring me. I thought we were friends?"

"We are friends. You're about the closest thing I've got to a best friend right now," Kelly said honestly, trying to cool down the hot head about to blow. He knew his cold shoulder would hurt this girl. Why in hell did he want to hurt her?

"I've been acting like a kid. Sorry 'bout that. Tell you what. You can have the place this weekend. You and that candidate enjoy." Kelly was smiling but the sick feeling in his stomach felt like the flu might be making a return visit.

Ah, now it all makes sense, Chili thought letting go of her power stance and plopping on his bed. She sprawled out propping her chin on her hands, elbows planted on the mattress. She gave him a "go on" look.

"I've got a date with a boat," he explained throwing down his pencil, a wide smile spreading across his face. His love of boats and the water something Benny did right during the whole child rearing thing. Everyone has "their thing" and boats were Severide's. It had been a while since he did "his thing," the death of Shay knocking the love of all things out of his system. He was getting it back. Slowly, you could say at a snail's pace, but it was coming back.

"Know this guy. He's got more money than he knows what to do with," Kelly thought about how he'd love that kind of cash, just not the corporate job that went with it. "I fixed a boat for him, and I mean really fixed it. The thing was trash but now, damn. I bet it's worth six figures." Kelly shook his head pausing for a moment to think about that beauty. "He got himself another toy, a sailboat. Wants me to give it a trial run this weekend."

Chili smiled liking the way Kelly's face lit up as he talked about "the beauty."

"Sounds better than any bar crawl," Chili smiled tilting her head to the side and closing her eyes, imagining the boat cutting through the water. She'd dated a poor little rich kid when she was 19, enjoying his sailboat more than him or his overbearing family. She free-spirited out of that relationship, but still missed his boat.

"You sail, Jess?" Kelly cocked his head, intrigued. He'd taken to shortening the Jessica to Jess, but Chili wasn't complaining. She did wonder what was next - maybe just J?

"Engine 51… Truck 81… Squad 3… Ambulance 61... 365 Halsted… Abandoned apartment fire…

"For another day," Chii was up running out of the lieutenant's office, Kelly on her heels.

"Off to the races," he cut left toward his truck, Chili cut right to the ambo beating Brett to the driver's side.

"Ha! Gotcha!" she opened the door, chuckling as her partner got in on the passenger side, noticing the bright mood appearing out of nowhere, thinking the HE had something to do with it.

* * *

"Don't be like that, Chili," Jimmy was wrestling with a hose after giving the truck a good spray down. He didn't want to cancel but no choice in his mind. When your boss asked for something, you had to say yes. "Casey needs me on a contracting project. He's desperate. I'm his last choice."

Matt had run through all the guys before asking Jimmy to join him. Didn't want to give the candidate the idea that they were buddies. That would come after a few years of seasoning.

Chili shook her head with a half smile starting on her lips, more of a sneer really. You still want to help even though you are his last choice? Unbelievable. And you tell me this ten minutes before we're off shift. More unbelievable.

She shook her head again, shaking off the disappointment. Those abs would remain under lock and key. "No problem," she said curtly, taking off in the direction of her locker. "Have fun with _Casey_ ," she added spinning around and flashing her full smile to pretend no hard feelings. If her curly hair would've allowed a hair toss, she would've gone for that as well.

She slammed her locker so hard it felt good. You know, one of those I feel like punching a wall slams. She thought about opening it again to give it another slam.

"What did that thing do to you?" Kelly slinked in, dead tired and ready for a couple of days of R & R, sailing around, not a care in the world. He grabbed his bag intending to head straight for the pier. He could shower on board, get a good night's sleep and take off first thing in the morning.

"IT gave me a look." She glanced over her shoulder at him as he shut his locker almost silently.

"Your locker?" Kelly chuckled. "Remind me to _never_ give you a look."

"IT kinda canceled plans on me," raising her eyebrows trying to give the appearance of one who didn't care.

"It? We're talking about Jimmy now, right? Just trying to keep up," Kelly could spare a few more minutes. His roomie looked like she needed to get it off her chest.

"Pretty sure you've never had a problem keeping up," Chili had one of those mischievous grins on her face that made Kelly forget she was so young.

He reached for his bag, hesitating, the two staring at each other.

Aw, fuck it.

"Wanna come?" he asked, getting up to head out. He was at the edge of the locker bays, waiting for an answer.

"Let's go have a double date with that beauty!" Chili was at his side before he could change his mind.

* * *

It was a day lifted from the pages of a fairy tale, sun shining on the water creating a glittering sheen on the surface of the lake. The night had been beautiful, the pair taking in the clear sky, watching the stars glowing in the black sky. Kelly slept up top enjoying the night air mixed with the smells of the water. Chili slept below in the queen size bed wondering how someone could afford a mattress for a damn boat that was better than hers.

Now it was time to set sail with everything the picture of perfection. Sometimes pictures can be so deceiving.

"You ain't half bad at this Jess," Kelly yelled out from one side of the boat now underway. He was raising and unfurling the mainsail smoothly, like a man who'd done this a thousand times. Surprised that Chili knew how to wrap the halyard and was cranking away. Impressive.

"Not my first rodeo," she said ambiguously, noticing the ripples of muscle under Kelly's shirt hard at work with the sail. Look away, she commanded.

He ran across the boat, taking over the cranking, effortlessly raising the sail.

She thought about protesting, but he did it with such ease and speed, it made sense. They sailed out a ways before Severide dropped anchor. Sailing was relaxing, but it was also hard work when the boat was in motion.

"Done," Kelly looked pleased with himself, stretching out on a deck chair. The relaxing could begin. He got up a second later to strip off his T-shirt.

Kelly closed his eyes soaking in the rays, loving the feel of the warmth, the smell of the water, the gentle rocking of the waves.

Chili watched him for a few seconds wishing she'd put her bikini on under her shorts and shirt.

"I'm gonna change below," she scuttled off, returning a few minutes later in a teeny black bikini.

Kelly heard a rustling in the chair next to him, cracking an eye open to see what was going on. Was she building a fort? Setting up a campsite?

Chili was trying to position the heavy lounger just where she wanted it, then adjusted her towel pulling it to cover the chair, finally trying to sunscreen her back.

"Let me help you," he pushed himself up, grabbing the lotion from her hands and began rubbing it all over her back.

She was squirming a little under his touch, enjoying it without wanting to act like she was. The feel of those calloused fingers moving with such confidence over the curves of her back was almost too much. She bit her bottom lip to make double sure some sound of pleasure didn't ring from her mouth. When Kelly moved to her sides and hips, she pushed his hands away.

"Uh, I got the rest," Chili flipped over uncomfortably, dropping the bottle. Kelly grabbed it and had it back in her hand in a second trying not to laugh. Acting like a nervous school girl. What gives?

He watched as she spread more sunscreen over the front of her, wondering when she turned into this ball of hotness before him. That body she was hiding at work was on full display, and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Maybe she wasn't hiding it. He was just too daft to notice. The girl who seemed more fitted for a training bra blossomed into a full fledged woman before his eyes on that boat. Definitely not twelve.

Chili met his gaze, that look of hunger in his eyes unmistakeable. Is he really looking at me like that? She couldn't be sure. Or could she?

Getting up slowly, she squeezed a little sunscreen into the palm of her hand, rubbing it between both hands. Chili pushed Kelly back on the chair with a lotioned hand, beginning to massage the front of his shoulders. She moved her hands to his chest leaning over him, her chest in front of his face. She had never been shy and right now was not the time to start. Sure, she was nervous, but all things you're doing for the first time came with nerves. Touching Kelly Severide in this way was a first, a first she'd dreamed about quite a few times but never admitted to anyone. Maybe not even herself.

What have I got to lose, she thought. She straddled him in the lounger, moving her hands lower, harder, feeling him grow beneath her touch. She stared in those blues she'd admired for months, those eyes she watched with curiosity at first. She'd felt something change, exactly when she wasn't sure, but she knew she couldn't take her eyes off those eyes when the flu brought down her big, strong roomie.

Kelly was thunderstruck by the woman on top of him, all woman, no thoughts of the girl who'd been living with him. Push her off. This is gonna ruin everything. The brain told him one thing, but his heart was saying something different.

"Fuck it," he said out loud, taking the curly jungle of hair in his hand, bringing her mouth to his hard.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to those who are reading! Here's an early update for my little reviewers who make me smile. Yes, I know this is an insane pairing, but it's been fun writing.**

* * *

A relationship changed on the water that afternoon.

It wasn't the only change brewing. On the Great Lakes, sudden shifts in weather were nothing new. The storm hit as if a bucket of cold water were being thrown on the couple as close as two people could be.

Sheets of rain hit them bringing in a bone penetrating chill, contrasting with the heat they were generating.

It was a slap in the face. A storm, and it hit on Kelly's watch.

"Get below!" he ran off to reef the sails, not wanting the boat to capsize. Get the sails down completely and wait it out. Benny had weathered several storms, teaching Kelly at an early age what to do.

He saw Chili cranking furiously on the other side of the boat. No way in hell I'm running below!

"Goddammit! Jessica!" he ran over to her, slipping across the deck and almost sailing overboard. He grabbed a railing, sliding right by her. She grabbed frantically at his shorts stopping him short of going over.

"Goddammit, Kelly!"

He took her by the shoulders. "Go below! Now! I'll be down there in two!" She shook her head no. He started to pull her up over his shoulder, threatening to drop them both to the deck.

"Okay! Okay! If you're not down in two minutes, I'm coming back up!"

He lowered her to the slippery deck, watching as she scuttled to the opening leading to the cabin. One more sail, check the ropes, and then he'd get his ass down there. He was done in five minutes, aware of eyes watching him from the stairs leading below deck.

Kelly powered toward the open door leading to the cabin, the wind fighting him on his journey. He took the two outstretched hands that yanked him in hard. Adrenaline serving Chili well.

"Go!" he yelled following her down the stairs. They were both shaking with a cold wetness that settled into their bones. Kelly grabbed a towel from a drawer beneath the bed, wrapping it around Chili and rubbing up and down vigorously.

"Quit shaking," he said, drying her legs a second time.

"Trying to," Chili grabbed his soaking wet face, taking it in both hands. She brought his face in for a long kiss.

"You wanna shower first?" he asked, pulling back for a second, needing her to get warm again.

"Yes." She grabbed his hand. "With you." Chili led him to the small shower, turning the water on steaming hot, wrapping the towel around the lieutenant.

The storm above was forgotten. There was a storm brewing below, and it had a force that would rival Mother Nature any day of the week.

* * *

Kelly brought in the boat, muscles aching from something other than fighting the storm. He wondered why the silence from Jess. Maybe she regretted the whole thing. He knew he should have resisted.

Chili wasn't sure what to think. She'd done the thing she'd been dreaming about, but now what? What did that make them? She was queen of no strings, of just out for a good time. She was a free spirit, her sister said a "hippie chick" and she liked it. What did all this mean?

Kelly docked the boat, helped gather their stuff, and watched as Jessica practically ran to her car. He guessed to get away from him.

He thought he had a pretty good idea what it all meant now.

Nothing.

* * *

They went off to their separate rooms as if sent into time out, both emerging the next morning for shift.

"Hi!" Chili greeted brightly pouring a cup of coffee for Kelly.

"Hi?" he replied, taking a sniff of it to detect poison perhaps. She looked fresh faced and back to the same old girl he knew as his roommate. Was it all a figment of his imagination?

"So, I was thinking about what happened. You know - uh - us," the confidence Chili started with was disappearing. She added a third Sweet & Low to already sweet coffee. something to keep her hands busy.

"I remember." Kelly laughed knowing he wouldn't be forgetting that shower.

"Well, I think we should not do that again. You know - uh - not that it wasn't great. It WAS great. More than great." Chili thought about adding a fourth sweetener, might help her quit rambling.

"I get it," Kelly interrupted, grabbing the pink packet from her hands. "You wish we wouldn't have taken it there. I'm sorry I let it go so far. My fault." He was hurt, no denying it. They'd had more than sex. He put himself out there, really out there for the first time in a long time, and now, this. She wanted to pretend it never happened.

There was that look in his eyes again. Chili sighed. "No. I don't regret it. And no, it wasn't anybody's _fault_. It was great." There was that word again. It sounded empty on Severide's ears.

"I really like us being friends. I really like what we have. I'm afraid to change it." Chili looked in those eyes, thinking she might be able to see all the way to his soul. She was a love 'em, leave 'em kind of gal, and she had no intention of leaving this one.

"Agree. Let's move forward as friends. Friends only." Kelly smiled to reassure her. But those eyes were making her regret even bringing it up. The smile was obviously a practiced smile, one you offered up when you had to but held no joy.

"Deal." Chili held out a hand as if ending a business agreement. Pull your hand in, she told herself, but there it was waiting for Kelly's. Pull it in. Nope.

Kelly shook it.

This was the last thing he wanted.

This was the last thing she wanted.

* * *

Brett wanted to hear all about the weekend, but Chili was uncharacteristically mum on the sailing excursion. "It was fine," she said. Always her style to give a little too much information to the blonde. Not this time.

Sylvie didn't pry, gleaning more from the body language of the roomies. Kelly looked like he was trying to avoid Chili, doing a quick U-turn when she came bounding his way, taking an extra long shower.

Chili was playing make-up for the break-up with her roommate. Well hell, she thought, wasn't really a break-up. One night. One stinking night she was desperately trying to forget. She was going to show they could be best friends with no benefits. Nothing had changed.

She rubbed Kelly's neck for a few seconds after a call that had all the men totally spent. A dumpster fire spread to a nearby building escalating from simple call to race against time. The men had gotten control without having to call for another house, all of them with nothing left to give. She hadn't meant to touch him, just the way he was slumped on the back of squad's truck. Hand him a bottle of water, pat him on the arm, and leave. Get in and out. But the pat on the arm turned into a full fledged massage involuntarily. It was a friend move, she justified.

Brett wasn't the only one who noticed the action.

"Looks like you and Chili had smooth sailing this weekend," Casey joked as the two shuffled through some monthly inventory forms, thankful for a couple of hours of downtime.

"Funny," Severide shot him a death stare. "It was good. She's a good _friend_."

"Friend, huh? Don't think Gabby would want me having a friend like that." Casey looked up from the paperwork. Sometimes talking to his friend was like communicating with a rock.

"Just a friend." Kelly didn't look up. "Hey, so I'm short one halligan. Your guys pick it up at the Rigsby fire?"

"I'll get Otis on it." Matt finished up with his last form. "Done!"

Kelly groaned. "Help me with the rest of this shit?" He held up four remaining sheets.

They worked their way through with no mention of sailing, storms, or paramedics. Gabby knocked on the door just as they were finishing up.

"The ambo's been out for a long time. Brett and Chili aren't answering dispatch. Boden wants us to go out."

Kelly told Cruz to "book it" to 63rd and MLK - the address the paramedics were dispatched to. It wasn't the most desirable area and thoughts of gang bangers or worse raced through his mind.

"Shit." He tumbled out of squad's truck, the first one to see the open doors of the ambo parked sideways a third of the way down an alley. Not good. No, this would not do.

"Shit," he said again, peering in one of the doors finding emptiness. "Jessica!" he yelled out, his booming voice echoing down the alley. Cruz, Capp, and Tony were surveying the area, overturning dumped cardboard boxes and shipping crates. "Brett!" he called out, looking along the doors to the adjacent buildings that stood guard on either side of the alley.

"Tony, Capp, take this side. Cruz, you and me, we're taking this side." Truck pulled up with Boden right behind. He ordered the men to circle around the buildings, question anyone outside. He was on the phone to 21 demanding a squad car out there NOW.

"We will find them," Chief boomed to his firefighters.

Kelly found a door with a broken lock, opening it easily. A shrill scream rang out as he stepped inside the darkness.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks again to those reading. Enjoy!**

* * *

Kelly ran to where he thought the scream came from. Darkness and silence met him as he crept further into the building. No paramedics. He thought about calling out for his Jess, but decided to keep his trap shut. C'mon, where are you? He had that deep in his gut bad feeling. Another scream echoed sending chills down his spine. If you could recognize a scream, he'd guess it was Sylvie's.

Severide took off running, Cruz on his tail. "Chief," he whispered. "Send PD in the east door, it's the one with the broken lock. Two screams, headed there now," he hissed.

"Stand down. Repeat - stand down. PD just rolled in." Boden commanded striding quickly to the patrol car pulling up.

Like hell I will. Kelly dashed up some narrow stairs trying to keep quiet but you would have to be deaf not to hear the fireman pounding - up and up.

He reached the landing for floor two. Continue up or were they here? The screams were loud, too loud to be on three? But the emptiness of the building? Shit.

Cruz looked at his lieutenant for instructions. Kelly finally signaled with his hand for Joe to go up. He was staying on two. Severide walked slowly down the hallway of empty rooms, darkness oppressing, pushing down on him like a fog. He was straining to hear anything that would give away a location.

As he edged down the narrow hall, he heard talking - a loud male voice, Jessica's followed. He moved quickly to the door second from the last. It was cracked and beams of light were inside. He peeked in seeing his Jessica covered in blood working on some teen on the floor. Another kid, no more than 15, was standing up, holding a gun to Brett's head.

"He dies, she dies!" he yelled out pushing the metal against Sylvie's temple. Another scream.

Rush in and tackle him? No way, he didn't want to see Brett's brains scattered against the floor. Wait for PD? No, they were taking their sweet time. They'd want to set up some hostage negotiation and he knew how that turned out most times. He looked again. The kid's hand was waving back and forth not from some gang banger bravado but shaking. With fear?

Kelly stepped into the opening for the kid to see, his hands up, a comforting, calm on his face or at least he hoped it was a comforting, calm.

"Hey, I'm with the Fire Department," he said watching the shaking hand pick up speed. Hell, maybe the kid would just drop the gun.

"Back up!" he yelled, pulling Brett in tighter.

"I'm staying right here," Kelly kept his hands up, raising them an inch higher. "What're you doing buddy?" he asked taking one small step forward.

"Back up or she gets it!" he yelled. Kelly thought he saw some tears forming in the guy's eyes.

"You okay?" Severide asked Jessica and Brett. Chili nodded but gave him a look toward the victim that could mean one thing only - he was dead. She was going through the motions of working on him, but it was obviously too late.

Brett didn't move, scared in a way that made breathing seem risky.

"Bud, your friend is in good hands. Jessica there is the PIC and one of the best I've seen. The best," he stated, feeling Shay rolling in her grave. "She's gonna save your friend, but we gotta get him transported to Med." Kelly dropped his hands, taking a step forward as if to help Chili.

"Brother," the teen corrected. "He's my brother. I didn't mean to," the boy broke off, dropping the gun to his side.

Kelly was on him in an instant, turning his wrist until it made a snapping noise. The kid called out in pain just as PD rushed into the room guns blazing. Ruzek was on top of the teen, a knee pressed firmly in his back. He was crying out in pain, his gun lying on the cold cement floor. All Kelly saw was Jessica's tear-stained face and bloody hands.

"You okay, Jess?" Kelly knelt down by Jessica speaking in the softest voice he owned. She continued to pump away at the dead teen. He put his arms around her, trying to pull her off. She kept working, pumping, more tears spilling from her eyes. Kelly gently turned her to him, forcing her to stop. "It's over. It's over, Jessica," he whispered as she buried her head in his chest, a sob breaking from her throat. He stroked the soft, curly mop running through his hand and kissed the top of it.

"It's over. Let's go home."

* * *

Chili didn't want to lay down but when she was up she found herself walking aimlessly, heading for water, then the couch, back up to look in the fridge. That boy, she kept thinking, how old was he? Dead beneath her bloody fingertips and yet she had to keep working on him. Pump that chest. Try to stop the ebb of blood. Don't let Brett take a bullet to the brain.

The adrenaline that automatically came at every call had turned into something different - a fear like none she'd felt before. People's lives hung in her hands almost daily, sometimes the life left but most times she gave them a fighting chance. This shook her. "Save my brother or she dies." The words kept echoing in her brain no matter how many distractions she tried to stifle it with. "Save my brother or she dies." The stakes had never been so high. "Save my brother or she dies."

Kelly was worried about her. A gun pointed at her friend. Jess feeling like Brett's life was hers to save or let slip from her blood soaked fingers. That feeling of no control. He couldn't imagine. He didn't know what to do, what to say. His words came out all wrong. "Go rest. You need it." What was that? The panicked look in her eyes told him sleep would not be happening any time soon. The way she was carving out a trail in the hardwoods, said she couldn't settle her brain long enough to truly take in what had happened.

He made her dinner, a simple spaghetti, that was hardly touched. He ran out for her favorite ice cream - Rocky Road - and saw a glimmer of hope when she ate a bowl. Kelly wanted to tell her, "Let's go to bed." He'd hold her that night, let his arms protect her from the dreams that were sure to come, let the warmth of his body keep her safe. But Severide was afraid. Big, strong squad guy was afraid of the words that had been spoken. "Friends." She wanted to keep them at arm's distance. He'd been friendzoned, and it was time to accept it. That boat though.

Kelly decided friends could sit on the couch watching a movie to keep minds from touching anything real life. When Jessica finally tipped her head toward him in the sleep drunk move of someone exhausted, he decided that friends could stroke a mop of curly hair. When she began snoring softly, he decided a friend would carry another to her bed. But when Jess whimpered slightly, he threw the whole friend idea out and crawled into bed with her letting his arms and body protect her from the world. Fuck it, he thought stroking her back.

* * *

Jimmy texted Chili for two straight days with no response. He'd been busy hanging out with Brett trying to get the feeling of cold, hard metal pressed on her head far, far away. She was a mess and had no one but her family at 51. She was such a good friend, listening to his problems, helping him dissect them one at a time. She'd offered up girl advice in dealing with Chili. It was the least he could do - help her get back to herself.

But what was up with Chili? Not even a quick text back? That damn asshole better be there for her. Or, wait. Maybe that's a bad idea. The candidate wasn't sure he wanted Severide in Chili's corner or not. He wanted to talk to the woman. He had a proposition for her, but she needed to call back first.

* * *

Chili took one shift off. Kelly had been the best friend ever. Best friend? She wasn't sure if friends slept together without sleeping together, but whatever it was she felt better. Her panic had lessened. She knew without a doubt it was because of her roommate. He had a way, hard to describe, but a way of making it seem like he would mystically make sure she was going to be okay.

When he shared his own feelings of hating not being in control, it helped. He started with the story of his sister, Katie, being kidnapped. Hell, who even knew he had a sister. He felt helpless and was growing hopeless. The story took a Severide turn when he said he finally beat some information out of a guy.

"So not really what you're going through," he admitted, making Chili smile a little at the story that didn't quite fit.

She loved that he opened up to her. She knew it didn't happen often.

He started another story, hesitantly. Kelly talked about a feeling of utter helplessness, a time where his trusty halligan did no good at all. He recalled watching Dawson work on his best friend. Shay sprawled out on the cold, hard cement, her head resting in a pool of her own blood. He'd knelt by her side, able to do nothing but will her to live. No, he would never really get over that feeling. All the wishing, the praying, all of it unanswered. Shay would never take another breath.

The roommates held each other for a long time feeling connected. Less alone in a huge world full of individuals.

* * *

Jimmy's hurt feelings tried to ignore Chili when she came up to beg forgiveness.

"Sorry I didn't text you back. Felt like I was losing it," she said catching him alone between the ambo and truck. She did feel bad. He was nothing if not a great friend. And so much more when she needed it.

The kindness in his heart won out as he grabbed his friend and gave her a huge Borelli hug. "Don't worry about it. Hey, I've got news!" He enthusiastically rattled off having it "up to here" with his brother. He was swearing off all that "bullshit" and doing some "growing up." His little kid eagerness had Chili in stitches before he finished his story or got to the point he was trying to make. She thought there might be a point to all this.

"So this is my point." He said out of breath, huge, open mouthed smile draping his face.

"I got my own place! My Uncle Gino has a place in West Town, totally out of my price range, but for his favorite nephew. Well, he's practically giving it to me!" Jimmy was laughing now and Chili found herself joining in. Their noisy conversation drew a curious audience - Brett popped her head in and out just "checking in." Herrmann grouched out, "Keep it down in there!"

"And," Jimmy added seriously, "I want you to move in."

Oh boy. It came out of nowhere, but it all made sense. Jimmy's candidacy was coming to a conclusion. She'd never ended anything with him. As a matter of fact, they'd talked about picking things up when they could. But that was all before this thing with Severide. Damn, he had a way of complicating a situation.

Chili's eyes grew wider as she struggled for the right words. She didn't want to kick the puppy. She wanted to pet the puppy and tell him everything would be okay even if they were just friends.

Kelly dropped the saw he was holding, pissed, shocked, a whole array of feelings rushing through him. He let this girl in, he opened the door and now he was getting shit all over. She was moving in with him? He'd heard the whole thing, not eavesdropping exactly. Hell, he justified, they weren't exactly being quiet. He was sure all the guys could hear the candidate gush on and on like a little girl. He stormed past the young couple, soon to be roommates he told himself, body checking Jimmy on his left side.

"Asshole," Jimmy muttered once Sev was out of earshot. But even that asshole wasn't quelling his enthusiasm. What was that look in his girl's eyes?

It took Chili a couple of seconds to react. Go after him! But first she had to let down the man asking for something she couldn't give.

"Jimmy, I appreciate the offer. I do." She met his eyes with hers, he deserved some honesty. He'd been nothing but honest with her, even with the whole playing it cool thing.

"But?" he asked, meeting her eyes and trying to will a different answer.

"But I can't. I like the arrangement I've got now." She kissed him on the cheek, stroking his face with her hands, wondering if this would be the last time she would touch him in this way. She took off in the direction of a steaming lieutenant, hoping he hadn't taken too many innocent victims in his wake.

Arrangement? What the hell does that mean, thought the young firefighter.

Chili was about to find out.

* * *

"You don't need to say a damn word. I heard enough." Kelly was looking down at his paperwork, making more of a mess of the mess he was pretending to tackle.

Why do you have to be so difficult? Why? Chili bounced on the bed, sighing loudly.

"I told Jimmy I'd pass."

"What?" Kelly looked up now. So… he hadn't heard the whole story.

"You heard me."

"Why'd you tell him that?" Kelly dropped his pencil and gave her his full attention.

"Why do you think?" Chili smiled at the confused look on her roommate's face. Things were about to get a helluva lot more confusing. She walked slowly to Kelly, reached her hands to his stubbled face, and planted a wet kiss on his mouth.


End file.
